This particular piece was supposed to come weeks ago but today seems like the perfect time (to jump on the band wagon)!

So Big Phil is dead...long live...erm King Avram? Big Phil came with a big reputation, a bigger tache, and took a bigger fall. Nevermind readingthe blueprint, he should have read the small print - i.e. the bit where it says "you dont win, you dont work". Now Chelsea are far from where they want to be and where many predicted bu we aint exactly talking crisis now are we? Well actually kind of...the only thing he needed to do was read the blueprint and follow it EXACTLY. What is this blueprint though? Just look at the steps below...

1- Billionaire owner: football crazy, pouring money into his team to shock and jelousy as the rest of the league look on. Pundits may say your killing football, and rival fans will hate your team, but who cares cos your gonna win everything....AS LONG AS YOU STAY INTERESTED, for once Roman stopped attending the bridge week in week out, for once Roman tightend the purse strings and for once Roman's "love for the club" was actually revealed to be an interest free loan you knew the jigg was up. No backing, no players no titles, simply maths Roman.

2- Jose's magic chalkboard: The key to the Blueprint. The ordinary one (my god have you seen his teams play...nope i was asleep too) took, nah stole a formation from a great Dutchman (at club level) and just made it ridiculously solid, and even more unspectacular. He made the Bridge into his own version of Noah's arc- two very (in rare cases) players for each position, all (bar Robben) willing to die for the cause. Two formations 4-3-3 and 4-4-2 diamond, which ever he played you just had the sick feeling in your stomach that any mistake you made against Chelsea would end your game. Jose was outspoken his accent just made more people laugh, but he maverick side was best demonstrated by the use of his bench. One nil down against Newcastle in the FA Cup he makes three changes at the break...then Waye Bridge gets injured and they lose. However it more about a guy saying "not liking what im seeing so this is what im gonna do", and 99% of the time it worked! Mourinho won something every year he was at chelsea which makes his sacking all the more baffling...no wait thats it, his big mouth. Jose opened his mouth Roman didnt like it and cut the funding. In January 2007 Jose begged for a defender only to be told "not on your nelly" (sorry kids may be reading), prior to that Shevchenko and Ballack were brought in, big names, great players but thats never been Mourinho's style. From that moment on you knew it was only a matter of time before he walked or was sushied (KGB style). The signings in his final season said it all Pizzaro? Malouda (im sorry but where has this guy been good...dont say Lyon cos NO ONE watches Ligue Un) The sale of players key to their back to back title winning teams.As it happens he was pushed after failing to win the Champions League, which wasnt really his fault, just that c*ck in black who claimed it was a goal and he saw it... Roman wanted Arsenal/Barcelona style football (with Fat Frank in the middle? lol) and clearly thought that you could take Jose's magic chalkboard and adapt it slightly...WRONG

Two men have tried to take "the Blueprint" and mould it in to Roman's vision,now on a budget of course. First there was that fat green thing from dangermouse...erm i mean Avram Grant. Who? the manager of Israel? Yeah, they were hard to beat (come on they played in the Holy Land...you dare to win over there? good luck with the afterlife!) but they didnt exactly do anything either. Many feel he was unfortunate to lose his job after almost winning three trophies, I aint one of them. You see the key word is ALMOST (say it with me now ALMOST) he almost won the league taking it down to the wire, behind at the begining of the last day of 07-08 by goal difference and he managed to to make it a two point gap at the end of the day. Chelsea should have been away that season but the clueless fat green thing from Dangermouse didnt have a clue. Sure he beat Arsenal at home (with the aid of a foul and an offside) and sure he beat united at home (with the aid of a dodgy penalty) but he also pissed away wins against Villa and Spurs who screaming to get beat. He promised to make Chelsea more exciting but the football was arguably worse than Jose's and no more successful. He lost the champions league final in "the lottery" but looking back on the semi, he didnt win so much as John Arne Riise lost it (gingers eh!) And to cap it off he was outwitted by Juande Ramos, enough said. Avram loved taking pot shots at Mourinho but it was Jose who had the last laugh..."he is a loser!" Well said!

Second is Big Phil, the man who saved Brazil, the man who brought portugal back from the dead (if you ignore the fact that they were Euro 2000 semi finalists). Chelsea fans and the board had their big name now surely he'd bring his own blueprint...4-3-3 without wingers...bring in Deco, admittedly a class act (Until January- see la liga last season and the season before that). Add in to the mix that you dont win 5 of the 6 clashes between other members of the "magic circle" and the board panics, and the fans are worried because they dont want to return to the bad old days of where nobody knew their name and he's out! with three months of the season left.

Where do Chelsea turn now? Guus (Im the most overrated manager in the world/will take you to a semi final but no further) Hiddink or even back to the fat green thing from dangermouse. I say start with the board? What the hell are they doing? Selling your best players (Robben) is fair enough to make a profit, but if you use that profit on Malouda then you might as well of used that briefcase full of 50's to wipe your butt. Who is buying the players, because the fat green thing from dangermouse didnt want Anelka and no one wanted Shevchenko either. Chelsea's buying policy was supposed to be Galatico in a sense, the world's best were all linked there and offers were made but now im hearing names like Kenwyn Jones linked with moves...how times change. Kenyon cocking up the Robinho deal was priceless (do not mess with Real Madrid...it just not worth it really...no pun intended) and he still maintains that Chelsea will be self sufficent by 2010...well they've got about 22 players left to sell to do that!

The Blueprint was not as complicated as I made out but it really is about one man, Jose Mourinho, you keep him, back him and Chelsea win...it was a simple as one of MacGuyver's legendary escapes! Roman didnt and now his own blueprint is about as clear as Russian dialect.

And the winner in all this? His team are top of Seria A, the owner is rich and backs the manager (He burned 18 million on Quaresma)...Jose, son, take a bow! Your job wasnt so easy afterall, especially with the board you worked with.